based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
