he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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