it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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