She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize