The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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