i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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