According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
