So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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