I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize