i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
