whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Randomize
