I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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