I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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