i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
