Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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