The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
