shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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