A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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