My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
