Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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