I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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