At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
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at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
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im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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