so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
