apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
