I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
