my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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