Three words: puerto rican gang bang
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
