My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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