when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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