can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
