Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
