im about as happy as oj after his trial
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize