people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
