Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
