Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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