i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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