In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
