I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
