who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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