I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
