my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
