If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize