She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
