I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
