My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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