are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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