It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
