nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
