Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize