I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
