So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
