dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
