I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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