So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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