I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
